So I'm in a right pickle right now. I was sleeping with my personal mr grey for 5 and a half months. The sexual connection we shared was beyond amazing!

I found myself falling in love. And it fucked up, every time we got close he freaked and went quiet. he never wanted to be in a relationship and we were only romantic or sexual during intercourse...

anyway I was feeling used so I left him. And it hurt, it's been two months with no contact and I found a new man who's completely different (especially in the sex department) I'm very sex driven and I love a bit of kink. He's not that way inclined. He's lovely he's also besotted with me, but I can't get the mr grey out of my head. And it's driving me mad! I'm trying to move on. Anyway mr grey is friends with my best friend and he came to visit today. I was doing night duty so I woke automatically and I could smell him in the house... I had to just look at him, so I did.. it wasn't awkward at all we all joked and it was good.... once he left I felt an ache in my chest and went back to sleep to find he messaged saying "hey you. Was so good to see you again" my heart nearly died. We kept a convo going for hours and it became raunchy again... both saying yeah we need to just be friends but me and him have a deep sexual connection and we got talking major dirty.

Now I feel terrible for the new man in my life. As he is besotted with me... but I don't feel that way for him.. I know I need to leave walk away because I can't live a lie knowing what I want inside.. what do I do!

I should stay away from mr grey! But I can't do it... he's to damn tempting. I crave him. But I don't want to walk away from the new man it will destroy him! And so many people would be cross if they found out I was sleeping with mr grey again.

I feel so low about this I need some advice! Stressing me out!! I don't know what I want anymore 😞