Overweight, new high BP dianogsis, and want to conceive...I'm scared

Hi Ladies, Last September I found out I was pregnant to miscarry early November. I miscarried at 10 weeks. Our baby stopped developing at 6.

I really want a baby but of course my doctor wants me to lose 50lbs. It's a struggle being an emotional eater & grieving the miscarriage. A month ago I was diagnosed with high blood pressure & put on pregnancy safe meds.

I'm driving myself crazy trying to manage stress, lose weight, deal with high BP, get pregnant (b/c I'm 38 turning 39 soon-therapist thinks I should speed up trying to conceive), putting my life together post-miscarriage. I'm overwhelmed and feel selfish for wanting to get pregnant at 287lbs. But I hear my biological clock too.

Anyone in or gone through this? Tips to hold it together? Thanks.