So Hard

I had a miscarriage in May. I would be 21 weeks right now and just thinking about it is depressing. Trying every month and getting disappointed is so hard. My sister in law who just had a baby 6 months ago and my niece just found out she's pregnant and was on birth control! While I'm so excited for them I can't help but be sad for myself. I've been rtf for 6 yrs and have had 3 me with only 1 live birth. When will I be able to conceive another? TTC is just so hard and takes such a toll. Idk how much more I can take. Also, after having so many mc it makes it really hard to be excited if I do ever get pregnant again.