I feel like a terrible mother already. I had grand ideas of breastfeeding and thought I would stick it out no matter how hard it got. I would be one of those women who persevered and didn't give up despite cracked bleeding nipples and excruciating pain... My son is now 12 days old and I'm exclusively pumping 😢 I had an extremely traumatic birth and almost bled out, I have internal and external stitches and I'm a long way off feeling 100% again. I really tried with breastfeeding, but after pumping for top up feeds due to him losing weight after we got home, I just couldn't anymore... he lost his desire to latch and feed from me, I got tired and sore constantly having to wake him up on the boob, fix his painful latch, night feeds were killing me and I felt terribly sad every time he was on me. The pump was a saviour, and for me WAY easier than breastfeeding. But now as he's getting older and needs more milk more often I'm having trouble keeping up... I'm constantly pumping, every 2 hours for atleast half an hour, usually more. Tonight I barely had enough milk to leave my partner while I went to sleep for a few hours. I feel like a failure and far less than what my son deserves. I can't help but want to bottle feed him (with formula)... it would save my mental state but isn't necessarily what's best for him. I don't know how long I can keep up with the exclusive pumping... I don't know what to do 😢😢