I have a massive fear(borderline repulsion) of pregnancy. I'm married (9 years this fall) and I am horrified of the thought of ever winding up pregnant. I have nightmares about it. I know that people will think I'm some idiot monster I'm sure but I have to know if there are other women like me. I'm not a kid person and never have been. I don't want them. The very thought of pregnancy makes me feel disgusted and terrified. There is nothing magical or wonderful when I think of something growing in me. I don't enjoy sex like I should because the realization that it could happen to me is always in the back of my mind like some damn creeper. It doesn't help that I have whacked periods thanks to PCOS and have no idea what's going on. My

husband refuses to get snipped and doctors will absolutely not rip my doom sack out because I'm "too young" and will "change my mind". I'm sick of all these wizards knowing more about my body and mind than I do.😒 On top of that, since apparently my only role here is to be a breeder, insurance won't cover any birth control I look into. Anyway, to any I've offended I guess I'm sorry. I just feel sort of...trapped. I needed to rant.