ISO buddy. AF due 9/22-9/26

Stacy

I'm 29(+½ haha). Hubby(32) and I are TTC his #1, my #3 for about 5 years now. Total since my first born in 2006 I've had 10 MCs, 1 termination, 1 hospitalized MC/d&c;, and 1 stillborn. I've been judged, ridiculed, looked down upon, written off, dropped like a bad habit, and then some, usually for lame out of my control reasons. I've apparently made poor choices for friends most of my life and have always wound up labeled as the "bad guy" when all I really did was care too much.

My hubby won't test his fertility for fear of the answer, as he went through seriously nasty chemo and radiation at the age of 14. He still talks DAILY about wanting me to have his kid though. He accepts my 2 as his own but wants more/one of his directly. Sadly, I lost hope of conceiving a couple years ago and donation isn't an option in his mind.

I have major depression and anxiety (diagnosed at 14) I've given up on making a friend/confidant IRL because I only wind up hurt. Hoping I can find one here...

Sorry for making this post such a novel, but I'm just putting most of it out there in hopes of finding the right buddy/friend/confidant.