Due to severe abnormalities I had to terminate a pregnancy at 19 weeks 11 days ago. It was traumatic and took a toll, induction took 6days and delivery was incredibly painful. My husband has been my rock through it all, helping me grieve and supporting me. He was amazing. Almost nobody knew I was pregnant, we were about to announce the day after the scan to our families and friends. I am so overwhelmed by this event, I can't stop crying, it's eating me up and I can't see the point of anything. Everything hurts, physically and in my heart and head. We were managing somehow until yesterday when it was our anniversary and when I had a nervous breakdown and cried for hours about all the things that went wrong- my husband also had a fit and said so many hurtful things: how our anniversary is worthless and how I should just move on and forget about our baby, that we probably did not deserve our son, that our son might as well go to hell since it was clearly not meant to be, that he now feels empty and angry. We are both veterinarians and he has always been a kind soul, well yesterday he said he feels he doesn't care about his patients anymore. I was saying that I can't sleep because of our neighbors baby who screams a lot during the night- I have dreams that he is my baby and I wake up panicking and then realize that I don't have a baby anymore. He actually said he doesn't give a fuck about our neighbors baby andthat he could die for all he cares. I was so shocked- this is not the man I have known for 16 years. I understand though that his grief is taking over just like mine is messing with my head and makes me see everything as pointless.

My question is, how do you manage loving your husband better? I dont know how to cope for both of us. Im trying not letting him see me cry but its hard to muster any kind of enthusiasm. I really want to be a better wife and help him through this- I did not realize he was struggling si much being caught up in my own grief. He has always been my better half and my rock and I feel helpless and useless right now because I did not realize he is hurting so much. When will this get better? UPDATE: my husband has apologized right after and went back to being his amazing self. we are taking it one day at a time.