I need some support and someone

I need someone to talk to who has dealt with addiction, eating disorders, and abuse. I am dealing with severe depression, and self esteem issues. I now weigh 190 and I was 172 before I was pregnant. I know I was overweight before but now I feel ugly. My image issues are getting in the way of my relationship and wanting to even speak to my boyfriend. Now that I'm unemployed, besides taking care of my son, I feel utterly useless. A blob, to put it simply. I'm starting to exhibit signs that I am dealing with postpartum depression. and I can't go to a therapist. I constantly want to over eat and when I do, I feel like Veruca Salt blowing up into a blueberry. I want to start purging again. I don't have any close friends anymore and everyone who I keep trying to talk to seem to not want to deal with. I finally just found the courage to post on here, reading about others who are struggling.