Finally feeling good

Im 21+2 weeks and I'm still getting sick almost every day but I'm starting to feel good about my belly. I always got excited about the getting big part (because it means there is a baby in there) and I never thought I would feel poorly about it but the in between time it just looked like I had a food belly. Just major bloating. But now, I feel like it is a real belly now! I'm finally feeling baby Elijah move like crazy 💙 also, I felt horrible because I haven't actually felt love for him. I really haven't. I have major depression and I'm not on my meds so I'm numb about everything plus the crying about everything hormones so I just haven't felt it but it finally is feeling like I actually FEEL love for my son. It's weird saying MY/OUR son. It still doesn't feel real but my love feels real which is makes me feel a lot better. My sister in law just had her baby and when I saw the new picture of "SHE IS HERE" I lost it and cried so maybe that jump started something.