My husband is gonna divorce me 😔

LONG OVERDUE UPDATE:

I know this post is old, and i don’t even know if anyone will read it. But i just want to put it on the record that i finally got my revenge today 😈

I was laying on the couch, on my stomach. He comes to lie on top of me but with his head resting on my butt. (I think some of you know where this is going..) i asked him to massage my glutes while he was down there because they were sore from squats. Of course he was more than willing. Well he was REALLY good at massaging them because before i could even realize what my butt was doing he got a big old toot STRAIGHT to the face. He’s still trying to recover, and we may have lasting trust issues with flatulence, but i believe we will remain married.

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So we're in the kitchen making breakfast. I'm chopping the potatoes and he's making his coffee.

All of a sudden he lets out the most gut wrenching, questionable, blow your mama away fart I have ever heard him, or any human being do.

As I'm standing there stunned, literally looking like this emoji 😳, he straight faced says "If you ever fart like I just did, I'm divorcing you"

Have y'all ever laughed your ass off and gagged at the same time? It kind of sounds like a donkey trying to talk under water.

Anyways, he's started a war and he doesn't even know it. 😈