Kids at baby shower?

Question

My mom is giving me a baby shower. Invites went out.  Invitees were addressed on the envelope. My husbands family keeps calling to RSVP and they say they are coming and bringing their daughter/daughters ( who were not invited).  Spoke to my MIL about it and she isn't willing to call them and tell them that this is adults only and unfortunately kids are not invited.  I find this so rude, to assume that you can just bring along ur kids. These kids range in age from 4-16!  So my mom is going to need to pay for extra plates since it's a per person seated dinner. And not one person on my side of the family is calling just assuming they can bring their kids along.  How do I fix this?!?
*****Based on the responses maybe I should have clarified better that this is a formal sit down 4-course dinner at a venue.  Similar to a small wedding.  Over a hundred people were invited. So me thinking it was clear enough to only put the invitees name on the invitation seemed sufficient. If I wanted the family I would have specified "and family" on the invite. Also, maybe there are different rules for different parts of the country. But thanks for all the insensitive judging!
If anyone else is interested in this topic.....
https://community.babycenter.com/post/a34999582/is_it_rude_to_bring_your_baby_to_someone_elses_baby_shower
https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/3711988/rude-to-take-baby-to-a-baby-shower
https://www.momdot.com/is-it-ok-to-take-my-child-to-a-babyshower/
Guess I'm not alone!

Answer

I personally feel it's strange to be upset that kids are coming to your party.... that's to celebrate you about to have your own kid.

Answer

unless u SPECIFICALLY SAID ADULTS ONLY, then why do YOU think its rude to assume kids ARE welcome? common sense dictates that if the invites said nothing about no kids allowed, that they ARE indeed alowed. call them urself and tell them. and when u want something specific,  make sure u state that,  before "finding it rude to assume ". ive been to many showers and a few specifically stated "adults only". the ones that didn't,  were ok with everything amd everyone. if u have an adult only theame,  u NEED to state that in the invite. if u dont, its not rude to assume otherwise.

Answer

Personally I've never been to an "adult only" baby shower. My friends and family have always accommodated to children as well. Of course they won't be able to participate in any of the games etc but kids tend to not care about that stuff anyway. You stated ages 4-16, 16 isn't young at all and most tend to know how to behave at a shower. I loved being able to have my friends and families children at my shower as they were just as excited for the arrival of my daughter as I was. Don't take it as being rude if it wasn't addressed to begin with, if you don't want to deal with the kids there at that time...you've got a lifetime of finding out what it's like to have a baby of your own and as a mother you yourself may be offended if your friend or family tells you that your child isn't welcome..just saying.

Answer

It's a BABY shower. Why would you be mad that kids are coming? And is it THAT bad that children want to celebrate with you? What's the problem? That they'll steal the spotlight? Selfish. And if it's really about the money, your mom shouldn't have offered to buy people's meals because stuff like this happens. Unless you specifically put on the invite the persons names and said "adults only" then you can't be mad. I think it's just a little selfish in my opinion.

Answer

I don't see how you can without being rude. I can see where someone might think to not bring children to a bridal shower but a baby shower? Unless it was stated no children how would anyone know. Some mothers have no choice but to bring their kids. You can flat out tell them no children and wait for the reaction or suck it up and arrange extra seating. I don't see any other choice.

Answer

you probably should have stated that this was an "adults only" babyshower. I'm sure you could've googled some type of rhyme or jingle about all adults or leaving the kiddos at home and put that on the invites. These people aren't trying to be rude, them saying their bringing their daughter or son or family is just them trying to give you the most accurate RSVP number that they can. I honestly think that this dilemma is yours and your moms bad :/

Answer

This happened at mine and it just is what it is. Showers are all so different, some are casual, some aren't, and that makes etiquette different. A couple people who RSVPd didn't come, so it didn't make the plating a big deal.

Answer

If invitee already went out... I'm not sure how to fix it. But on my invites we put "adults only" and no one got offended. All of my friends/family have children 5 and under so they completely understood why I didn't want a bunch of little kids there. 
Maybe have your mom send out a group text to everyone letting them know that it is adults only?

Answer

Yeah if you didn't say "adults only" on the invite, you're SOL. If you're going to have specific requests (which this is. Because it's very common for people to bring their children to baby showers) you need to say so. If you don't, you really shouldn't bitch about it. Lol. Just saying. Good luck!

Answer

you didn't say no kids so you're kinda stuck. BUT since the money issue is legitimate, you should personally call each person and explain the mixup. people understand financial decisions and if you make the calls yourself, no one will be offended

Kids at baby shower?

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