When couples hanging gets ruined...

Question

I just need somewhere to rant because I can't talk with my husband and my friends about this...
I recently found out a good friends husband has said very very nasty things about my husband. Our husbands are very dissimilar, no common ground, it's awkward for them to "hang" but they've done it once to three times a year or so depending on what's happening for about 7 years... My husband isn't silly, he knew he and the other guy weren't great friends, he and I have joked about how it's awkward for them. Anyway, I found out yesterday that my friend's husband has said he HATES my husband and went on a tirade in front of mutual friends with disgusting derogatory language about my hubby. Things like, "I would rather fist my own asshole than have Tom come around". Our mutual friends were shocked and told me they said to him that my husband is one of the nicest most harmless guys they know and what he's saying is unfair. But his wife didn't speak up, she was apparently kind of like *shrug+eye roll* as though that's what husbands do... (...and he really doesn't have a good reason for saying such ridiculous things. They're just different- her husband is into flashy cars, brand name clothes, spending money and my husband saves his money, doesn't brag about his new purchases and is a gentle nurse... he's just a quiet reserved harmless guy...) I haven't told my husband what I know because there's no real point, it would just upset him. Anyway, now I know how awful the friends husband has been, I just think I can never invite them around to hang at our place again (for social gatherings with groups of mutual friends) and nor if I am ever invited to their home again can/should I bring my husband along. I feel that would be revolting to expose my husband to be made a fool of like that. There's a part of me that's mad my mutual friend even told me what a douche bag the other husband is - as it's really made it impossible for us to ever do the couples thing again - but on the other hand it's not the mutual friends fault that the other husband was an asshole in the first place. I'm so frustrated that he didn't even have a good reason about disliking Tom. Like at least if he had said, "Tom does this and it impacts on me like this..." but he was just carrying on about aspects of Tom's personality that have absolutely no impact on him whatsoever. So annoying and damn rude!

Answer

That is incredibly rude! I would cut ties with that couple. I know you might enjoy the company of the wife, but for me personally, I would expect her to put her husband in his place if he were to be acting a fool like that.

Answer

I would tell my husband and I also wouldn't go to anything at their house.. my husband and I are together on everything, if you have a problem with him then you have a problem with me vice versa.. end of story. I would distance myself from the so-called friends and if they asked why I would let them know exactly how I felt.

Answer

I'd never invite them to my home or gathering I'm throwing again. Your friends husband sounds like a pretty rude guy.

Answer

sorry but I'd never invite them to anything again that's rude and the fact his wife just let him sit there being a jackass makes her rude as hell also just keep him away from your husband

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Well sometimes people just dont like each other. No reasom to be rude about it. Dont get upset because someone you dont get together with much is an asshole. He may as well write it on his forehead(while fisting his own asshole with his free hand) distance yourself and get together with your real friends. What a douchebag.

Answer

Cut ties. At least the other mutual friend was nice enough to give you a heads up. If they hadn't and you'd found out, you would have probably been pissed and been out even more friends. Fuck that couple, apparently he thinks he's better than your husband and his wife doesn't disagree to the point she feels she should say something. Life's too short to be around people who don't value your company. Find some new friends, don't make them think they are doing you a favor by hanging out with you, and surely don't do them the actual favor. If in fact you guys are such an inconvenience to hang out with, they shouldn't mind not seeing you and it shouldn't bother them when you don't accept or extend any invites to do so.

Answer

I'd want to know what people were saying about someone I love or myself, it makes life easier because then I know who to cut out. personally I'd tell my partner (I wouldn't go into extremely harsh details) if he finds out from someone else he may feel stupid or lied to, I know I would especially since it's about him, not you, you need to deal with this as a team, he needs to be in on the decision to cut them out. I'd stay away from them and if they ask why tell them exactly what was said and how you feel about them, I wouldn't hold back and tell him exactly what an arse he is! life's too short for people that don't respect you.

Answer

Personally, I would cut ties with both of them. Anyone rude enough to speak about my SO in such away would not be allowed in my home. There's no way I would extend my hospitality to them. 
I'm not sure how close you are to the wife, but if you are comfortable enough to, then speak with her and let her know that you heard what was said, that it's disappointing, rude and makes you uncomfortable to the point where they're no longer welcome in your home. Don't be upset at her, just be straightforward.
If you see either of them in a social setting, smile, say "hi" and move on.
Neither you or your husband need that negative energy in your lives. Enjoy your other friends! 😃

Answer

i would think it has to do with his personality.  he sounds like he is a douch either way and is probably jealous. i would be thankful for that mutual friend for saying something and i would cut ties with that couple. i would think the other couples would follow. if he talks about your hubby behind yalls back what stops him from doing it to their hubby's

Answer

My bf's buddy's gf doesn't like me and I know it, it's a little strange but whatever. When they would come over the guys would go work on a car or other guy stuff and she would be in the house with her children and me.I would try to have polite conversation with her, she would stay on her phone and give me one word answers. It doesn't make any sense I was always kind and generous to her and her children when they would come over. Finally when my bf would ask if I felt like have them over for dinner I would say no. I am too old for stupid high school stuff, and I definitely am not going to be made uncomfortable by some random girl in my home. What I am saying is your hubby probably knows that he doesn't like him, not everyone in the world is going to, but luckily, you don't have to have everyone in the world in your home. Don't invite him over anymore.

When couples hanging gets ruined...

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