I’m struggling

After many years of ups and downs lies cheating the growing the awakening of myself over and over again. He has became a better man. But I can’t fall back in love with him again .

8 years together

First 3 years of tears .. I loved him so much I couldn’t control myself . I sold my soul to this man. 19 years old dating a marine/football player/ party monster! Omg I was so attracted to him. But many many cheating and lies . Leaving me home alone for days not coming home until 8/9/10 am some nights. But I stayed strong !!

Year 4. I thought if I strived more for myself he would be more attracted to me again and he would make me his one and only ! Failed

Year 5, I woke up! I dyed my hair red got a great job and would never let him mentally or physically abuse me again! Just stayed away from him. He falls in love with me now 😔

Year 6 I’m healthy toned beautiful uplifting striving fighting days! I feel amazing !! He wants me to be his one and only now. I am fading

Year 7 I’m working hard paying the bills healthy amazing a full time job and mother of 2 . He is watching me from afar busy in his cave.

Year 8 . Fed up want help want more from a man. We fought this entire year about how to handle our responsibilities together as I had all of them the entire 8 years!!

Today. My fighting worked he is now here and available to me at all times. No more lies cheating no more manipulating he listens to me he hears my cries! He is finally here.

But I don’t want him 😞