Idk what to do 💔

This might be long but I just need someone to listen to me.... my heart hurts and I feel so alone.

January I had a complete thyroidectomy convinced the same month and the pregnancy ended. Started back trying last month and got pregnant and had a miscarriage. I'm a mother to two children and I'm in a relationship with someone who has no children. Our pregnancy ended shortly after my surgery and I want so badly to have children with him but it don't seem to be happening. I later found out maybe a week after my miscarriage that my TSH is 12 and my T4 and T3 are normal. I have been given another prescription to bring my TSH down but this last miscarriage literally broke my heart bc its like why me! was so happy and literally told everyone. He was so happy. 😞 and just like that my baby was taken from me. I told him today that I feel discourage as everyone around me is having babies and conceiving and it's just not happening for me. He stated that it was a slap in the face Bc I'm giving up! He says he wants children with me desperately and I just feel that I can't give them to him. I've read and read about thyroids and pregnancies and I'm just so discouraged. On top of everything every time we have sex and he don't pull out I get BV. I'm just drained.... this hurts Bc all I want is to have one more child and I don't think I can. I'm crying as I type this Bc I actually told him that I understand and love him enough to let him go so he can have children... the last thing want him to do is grow to resent me later on in life but he says he not leaving me! He's really good to me and my children and have been in their life for a long time now but I know he wants some of his own.... I'm lost! I feel like I'm failing him and idk what to do! I've never had issues with conception before this surgery and the only reason I had it removed was Bc it was so big they thought it was cancerous and was affecting my breathing...I regret it so much now. 💔 I'm lost I don't know how to shake this feeling. I feel like he's disappointed Bc all he talks about is babies, me pregnant, how he can't wait, etc! I feel like I'm under so much pressure and I can't do nothing about it! Thank you for reading!