My friend’s boyfriend


My friend has anxiety. She worries about lots of things, but usually she calms down after you reassure her.

Her boyfriend of one year is terrible. He calls her names, always blames her for worrying about « useless » things, says she’s annoying and is almost always talking in her back. He is also mean to everyone, but especially girls; when he finds out something is close to your heart, he’ll make fun of it and such. If she tries to talk to him about the way he acts, he will yell at her and tell her she can’t change him and she should accept and love him as he is; yet, he is always making her feel bad for her anxiety, how much she talks, and other silly things that we are all fine with yet it drives him mad. We (her friends) have tried to talk to her many times about his behavior and how he treats her, but she won’t listen. She is convinced that he’s perfect for her. We’re finishing high school this year, so I get that love can be overwhelming, but the way he treats her is borderline abusive! She keeps telling us that in private, he’s great and treats her with respect. But shouldn’t the way he treats her in public matter, too?

So what can I do? Do I let this go on or do I tell my friend upfront that he’s horrible and she’s better off without him? I can’t bear to see him treat her like she does anymore; She deserves way better.

(PS; I know this post would be more appropriate in « Teen love », but I want the opinion of people who have had serious relationships and who have seen or been in abusive ones.. or just about anyone!)

Thank you!