I can't get over him...

My sons father left me yesterday. Things haven't been that good lately, he'd leave me and say hurtful things and say he never loved me and then he would always come back. Things would be okay and it would happen all over again. He convinced me he loved me, said things would change, then he's just gone.. I really believed he did. How can you love somebody and never want to talk to them again... he won't even reply to me. I feel so lost without him. I know I shouldn't, but I can't get over it. 😕 he's the only person I had.