Help...maybe

Ok so I’m just trying to figure out if I’m over reacting or being ungrateful and if not how to handle it. Sorry this might be long...

First a little background- my husband and I just sold our house and we are currently living with my parents while we build our dream home as it’s closer to work. It should be ready to move into in February. With that being said, my parents watch our 18 month old daughter during the day while we work so they get to see her EVERYDAY! My in laws have always been a little pushy when it comes to my daughter- they just show up at my house to visit with her (doesnt matter what time or our plans), when my daughter stays with them MIL does not put her in her crib to nap/sleep at night she puts my daughter in her bed and sleeps with her even though I have told her we are wanting her to sleep in the crib on her own so it doesn’t mess up our routine, and when we all visit their house it’s like my MIL doesn’t want to “share” my daughter with me. As a matter of fact on her first birthday she took my daughter outside away from all the guests who don’t get to see her often until I made my husband go get her and bring her back inside. It seems to be worse when my parents are around.

Now that we live with my parents my in laws seem to think they need to see my daughter every weekend at some point. Mind you since we moved in with my parents, my husband and daughter spend Wednesday nights with them and they watch her all day Thursday because I do feel like they should get to see her and with my husbands commute it’s easier to spend the night. With that being said come the weekend they are having “withdrawals”. I work Monday-Friday and my daughter is asleep when I leave and I get home around 530 every night and she’s in bed by 8 at the very latest. I feel like the weekends should be time my husband and I spend with our daughter and I shouldn’t have to share it with my in laws if I don’t want to. Sometimes they just want to meet for dinner but that means we have to plan our plans around meeting them. I get my daughter gets to see my parents all the time but that’s just because of our situation of building a Home right now. Am I ungrateful and being rude to them??