I’m not okay. I admit it. I haven’t been okay for a while.

After the hospital I seemed to be improving but it was all too good to be true. I slipped and fell down into this hole again...

I’m apathetic. I’m not a nice person. I have to force a smile and be happy so no one can tell. And so no one gets hurt

I know what your thinking. It’s one of those cliche cringe emo posts.

At this point I don’t give a fuck if I get that sort of hate. I’m venting for myself. Not for anyone else.

I no longer find joy in life. In fact each day is boring and painful. I’m suffering and want to be put out of my misery

I’m not a good person. I’m not a nice person. I’ve poisoned and hurt people and that left me shattered by them as well. I never intended to hurt. Apparently I just am not normal when it comes to interacting with people.

At this point, if I was in an abusive relationship I honestly wonuldnt care. I don’t care about myself enough anymore so much I would sit there and take it. Sometimes I wish someone did things like that because I rather feel physical pain than this.

I see no worth in myself or my body. Do whatever the fuck you want with it.

It’s at this point that terrible things like that I wouldn’t fight. At least I would be put to use before I’m broken and gone for good

All I want in life is to feel wanted. To be cared for. And if I can’t have it the idealistic way then why bother? Might as well let the monsters have their fun before I am completely nothing.

In short I deserve every bad thing that happens to me

I no longer care about myself

I rather be used than wast away empty hollow and lonely

I rather receive physical pain than this