The love of my life is dead

Joslin

Today i just found out my ex/ best friend has died of an overdose and has been dead since Monday. Me and him were super duper close i knew him for 3 years and dated for 2 years. I loved very very much . I always have and i cant believe what has just happened i am completely shaking and i can not believe it. We made promise to move in together and i was supposed to meet in a month for the first time! His birthday was next month which we would celebrate together. I planned an entire life with him. He meant everything to me. I feel like I’m going crazy i cant believe this right now. This is hurting me so much this cant me real. Why. I asked so many times to not do drugs. He said he loved me. Everyone is messaging me saying that he always loved me that he has always and that all he ever talked about was me and how perfect i was. Talked about how he could not wait to be with me. This is so devastating. I have been in a relationship for the past 9 months and things haven’t been working out . I tried breaking up yesterday and i didn’t work my bf didn’t take me seriously, because i realized that the person i was in love with the whole time was my best friend he’s the one i love! But it was too late... he had died. I was too late.. and i don’t even know what to do. Im posting this every where i just need some advice please i cant handle this..