Last year I watched my grandmother deteriorate
Last year I watched my grandmother deteriorate. I lost the boyfriend I was with for 9 years because he couldn't deal with my grandmother being sick with cancer. I helped him though with his sister and his mothers death with cancer. While with him I wanted a baby, he made me get a abortion, the first time and the second time as well. While he was telling me to finish my bachelor's degree he went and got his baby mother pregnant. I have two more semesters for my Masters degree and then I'm done.
I got pregnant one more time after I had a IUD removed. They had to give me Chemo therapy in order to kill the baby. They made me wait two weeks and then give me more chemo because the baby kept growing in my tube. I asked them if there was anything they could do and they said that this baby would kill me.
This boyfriend I was with at the time was very abusive we was always fighting always. While my grandmother was sick last year he left me for another girl. I was in a deep depression. My grandmother lives in Brooklyn and I live in the Bronx that's a two hour ride, going and coming. A 4 hour commute. I am the first grandchild so this was very hard for me. I worked, went to school and took my Gma to her radiation, they said she was not strong enough for chemo. I did this every day.
So I met my new guy I'm with now, my grandmother approved of him and she really liked him. Mother's Day was on Sunday May 14, 2017 she passed away on Friday May 12, 2017. She is and was my heart. I have a 18 year old daughter and a 11 year old son. I am 37 years old and felt like my time was running out. I miss carried in June, it was bad. I was about 2 months pregnant. I didn't even know because I was on birth control patchs, my new boyfriend was like we should not try anymore this is painful but I was like no, we will try again.
Before my grandmother passed, I told her I wanted a baby and I asked her when she think it would be a good time. She said October. She gave me other prophesies too. I tried in August, nothing no baby, I tried in September nothing no baby, I tried in October 💥 boom. I am 9 dpo today, but I took this yesterday at 8dpo.
I'm still in pain about my Gma but that's why all the girls in the family had to wait to get pregnant, because Gma was sick. In our family we believe one goes out and one comes in. So as bad as I wanted a baby I had to wait for about two years.
It was not going to be me that sent my Gma to heaven, because I couldn't wait to have a baby. I can still hear her telling me, all things new, all things new, all things new. 😢 I miss her like crazy.
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