No BC And feeling in control

So, I just had my 2nd son a month ago and told my OB today no BC. I was on the pill both times before my last two and it took me a year or more to conceive after getting off and on top of that I was always depressed... often crying uncontrollably.

I feel very much in control this way and am still hoping my third and last child will be a girl. I’m already 36 and would like to deliver her Before I’m 40; no offense but my husband has 5years on me.

If you read this and don’t mind please pray with me because I feel prayers are needed for this last one. Thanks!

PS my boys ;)