i dont know how to feel

so my SO got into an argument. he was shaving his head you know with an electric razor. and thought it was funny to put it close to my head. I said stop then he smiled and did it again to which then I screamed at him to stop. he stopped had this look of pure fucking rage and was quite for 5 freaking minutes. finally he let me finish the back of his head for him. we go get in the shower and he's still pissed af I yelled. I get I shouldn't have yelled but we will get there in a minute. so anyways we are showering he says nothing quite as a mouse. then he gets out I wash my hair my body and get out. by this time this fuckers already taken my panties expecting to get some tonight. well fuck that I get to our room dry off clean my ears and then put my panties on crawl into bed and shut my eyes. about 15 minutes later I feel him starting at me so I open my eyes and ask what is it. nicely I mind you. he Snickers and looks back at him phone then he does this shit again so I said what is it. he puts his phone down and rolls over to look at me. gets in my fucking face and says you should apologise for yelling at me. to which I said fine I'll apologize when you realize that what you did wasn't funny, wasn't cute,. wasn't nice. and you apologize as well. to which he gets a fucking attitude and says whatever fucking forget it. "well I am sorry for yelling I get I overrated and shouldn't have screamed" I say but no he says I don't want you stupid apology I don't want anything from you. so I say fine whatever and turn out the light and roll over. he fucking storms out of the room and is sleeping on the couch. like fuck. I cant freaking stand that shit. like own the fuck up when you piss me off. when I piss you off I own up I apologise I say im sorry but damn you do something wrong and somehow it still ends up my fault. like fucking hell I want a damn cigarette but I can't cuz guess who fucking smoked all of them but 4. in two fucking days. he did. and he doesn't even like cigarettes all that much especially camel crush. fuck I'm tired, emotional, and honestly sometimes I feel underappreciated. watch I'm about to make his lunch his breakfast and get his clothes out for work and guess what he's not gonna care. he never does. he asks for his back and his feet rubbed and I do it whenever he asks. I've been asking for a damn month and does it happen no. like geeze that's all I've literally asked for something nice and a damn thank you! ugh rant over. I guess