Why not me?

it's so saddening to be so excited one month thinking "this is my month, I can feel it" then taking a test and it's negative. but can't shake it, wanting to take another one in a few days because u don't want it to be real. thinking "maybe it's too early" but deep down knowing your just not pregnant. and trying to be ok with it. saying "well I'm still young, my body just not ready yet" but deep down hurting so bad. everyday u see soooo many people so excited they're finally pregnant and wondering "what's wrong with me?" "should I go to the doctor?" "I mean I ovulated on the 3rd and had sex the 3-6 what's wrong with me?" trying not to break down at random times. thinking God will bless me when I'm ready, but also thinking " but I'm ready NOW! "