Haven't had a period since sept 9th 2017

Tequila

Omg I'm so scared I have had 5 miscarriages n I'm 37 years old I'm hoping for my rainbow baby I haven't seen af this month I haven't tested yet because I'm scared n nervous don't wanna get my hopes up should I test now or wait please helpppp 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️