My husband gave me the silent treatment to teach me a lesson

So my parents live in a different state and every month or so, I'll go and visit them. Before I left, my husband and I got into a silly fight and I left without saying goodbye. Halfway through my trip, I regretted it. So, I messaged him and told him I loved him and that I was sorry.

Then for three days, nothing. No call. No text. I tried reaching out to him. I was crying my eyes out and calling third parties to see if anybody knew where he was. At one point, he was at work. Okay, cool.

So after letting a few hours go by, I try calling him again and I finally get an answer.

He tells me,"Bet you won't do it again? Leaving without saying goodbye? You didn't wanna say goodbye to me so I figured you didn't want to talk to me either"

I told him how ridiculous that was and that I had already apologized and knew what I did was screwed up.

He said,"If I hadn't ignored you, you would've done it again anyway."

I told him he was treating me like a child and acting like one.

What do you all think?

I sent him this message:

I spent all of last night, thinking about the last couple of days. I've come to this conclusion:

I am still very upset about how we both handled the situation that happened this week.

I know I was childish. I know what I did was wrong, and I still feel horrible about it. Tomorrow is never promised, which is why we should always say goodbye when the other leaves.

That's the lesson I learned. But, it was from myself. Not from your silent treatment. Your silent treatment did nothing but make me suffer and have worst case scenarios penetrate my brain. That's all it did.

You kept telling me,"You started it." That's probably one of the most common phrases spoken by a child.

I see now that you will do anything to seek revenge when I piss you off. You knew exactly what would hurt me. The difference between our wrong doings is that what I did was at the heat of the moment. What you did was planned out. A scheme, if you will.

That's what makes me so sad.

I want to learn from what I did by respecting you and because I love you. Not to be curled up in a corner because I am terrified of you.

Needless to say, I am terrified now. Terrified that I know you would intentionally hurt me for a long period of time for something I had already apologized for. I know I will make mistakes again, so what will be your next scheme? It's satisfying to think that I have the opportunity to scheme against you, but I don't want to. Because I love you.

The flaw in your scheme is that, if you were to ignore me again, I would know the intentions. I would know the purpose behind it. It'll still hurt the same, but I'll know exactly what's going on, and I'll have way more control than I did this last time.

I'm sorry our marriage consists of silent treatments. I thought we were better than that. I'm hoping that will someday come to an end.

You might say I am overreacting or making something bigger than it really is, but I've been scarred by the silent treatment. Something I've been through before several times in the past, and I don't take it well. Especially with you. I never expected it from you.

I could also say you took what I did way out of proportion too, but it hurt you, didn't it? So it's not way out of proportion. It's your feelings. I am concerned about what hurts you, and whatever might be a big deal to you and not a big deal to me, will quickly turn into a big deal for me because I love you.

I hope this makes sense.

I love you forever.