My boyfriend’s mental health (very long)

I love my boyfriend. I have loved him for a very long time, before we even got together. When times are good we have fun, understand each other, have amazing chemistry and have an unbreakable bond.

However...

He suffers from mental health illnesses that have yet to be diagnosed. And these have caused strain on our relationship a great deal. I also suffer (depression, anxiety, OCD and ADHD) but he refuses to seek help. I work with at a high school, working special needs and high behavioural students. I have a great deal of information about local resources and places he could get help. But he still refuses. He self medicated with pot which is fine, it works 89% of the time. The apparent cause of his triggers are holidays. He has episodes every “family get together” holiday (Christmas, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Easter, thanksgiving...).

The last episode was this past Monday (Canadian thanksgiving). He had the day off work but still didn’t want to come to my moms for lunch. I said it was fine, and went myself. When I came home a few hours later he was fine! In a great mood...then in a heartbeat it changed. I can’t even explain how quickly his whole mood and look changed. He laid in bed with the covers over his head for two hours: I tried to get him to speak but he wouldn’t. I gave him space, but finally he spoke. And he was angry. At me.

He accused me of “talking shit” to my family about him. He said all I do is talk to my mom about how horrible he is. He also said I’m a whore and our baby (I’m 27 weeks pregnant) isn’t his because I probably cheated. He went on touching on topics like my so called fake anxiety attacks, my inability to drive on the highway following a bad accident I had last year, my selfishness, and my family being against him. All of these things are false and delusions of his own mind. He also sent a screen shot of a Reddit post that is over three months old from my former best best. She and I stopped speaking after she distances herself from me when I became pregnant. She is a liar and has told me countless that she would “ruin my life”...which she seemingly has. She posted that I had slept with a friend of hers which never happened. My boyfriend saw this and it further fuelled his anger. (Which leads me to question why/how he came across it in the first place, her user name on Reddit is not something he would know).

I stood in the doorway to hopefully ensure he wouldn’t leave and he shoved me, a number of times, into the door frame. He has never put his hands on me until that happened. I let him go and he walked out the door for three hours. When he returned I was still trying to calm myself down. He simply went to bed, leaving me to sleep on the couch.

In the morning and the days since he is acting like nothing happened. He said sorry and tried to kiss me. I have tried to avoid him since. I do not know what to do at this point and am scared for my wellbeing (and my unborn child). Luckily I work a lot this week and do not need to be near him at all. I am trying to find the best way to speak to him about this episode.

I know this is long as hell but I needed to rant and wanted to reach out in case someone had been in a similar situation. I do not know what to do at this point. I want him to get help but do not know how to bring it up without setting off another episode. I also do not want to involve the police but I am at this point scared for my well being in our home.