SERIOUSLY!!??

The new Spider-Man movie SUCKS. Aunt May is suddenly a sexy MILF instead of a sweet old lady, Peter Parker now has a fat best friend, The flash is now Indian - which I can get past - but then he's ALSO in this trivia club?? The flash is supposed to be a football jock, not a brainiac! And Peter's love interest isn't Gwen OR Mary Jane, it's some random girl! OH and Peter's spidey-sense is apparently nonexistent because he's clumsy and constantly smashing in to things and breaking shit. AND FOR SOME REASON, he has a fucking parachute in his suit plus a warmer because why the hell not.

The movie completely shits on every comic book fan ever. I'd rather watch Twilight.

Congratulations, Hollywood. You've made sparkly blood sucking emo pixies more attractive than Spider-Man. You assholes.