Lost....

Soooo back in February my husband asked for a divorce. Very dark times trying understand so once he continued to shun me off I decided to move out. I moved out in May, stayed with a friend and struggled out on my own - started coping with it all by traveling it really helped mend my broken heart to visit friends and family I didn't have the opportunity to meet in years. I've gone to as far as Europe. I became romantically involved too! With a great man, tall blonde and handsome- a dream really! He's attentive, sweet and assures me that I'm not wasting my time. Again, a dream. We have a great connection too, he's long distance finishing up some a program he planned before him and I got together. He says things like he's not worried about my ex, as at this time he's not signed the papers he filled. September 20th 2017, after close to 5 months my ex reached out to me about insurance. I asked why he didn't sign the divorce papers and he told me he couldn't and it's been hard. My knees became weak, and heart skipped a beat. I was suddenly falling back into his spell he said things like I was a unmatched and it felt like he'd had been out "their" and wanted to to come home . We met up twice I'm so foolish I know I am! I didn't share that with my new man because I wanted to really figure things out I felt really bad and thought about him the entire time and how much I really want to be with a man like him, maybe hes sense something and he's been a little distant lately busy with this program. Having talked to my ex and seeing him made me feel lost. As I can see him and his unstable nature it's clear to me I've forced myself to look past him and and I am able to love unconditionally him not so much. After seeing last he we hadn't really talked much and I'm planning to have him sign the divorce papers once and for all so that I can focus on bettering my life without him. The effects of his fickleness made it so he was unable to led me. His new life consist of club promoting on the side and that's something I just have no patience for. It's time and I know it NOW. Family tells me that's my husband and I need to stick by him but if he was really serious about mending our relationship he would have started making efforts to do so he hasn't really done anything major to prove to me that this is what he wants and where he wants to be. I don't see it as 10 years down the drain I see it as experience I've got to know who I am and what I want to work out and what I am willing to accept. I'm still 85% sure but that's better than 50%.