When I need help
So, I may sound bitchy, or ungrateful, but I need to get this off my chest. My boyfriend and I just had a baby girl about 3 weeks ago. She's recently gotten to where she cries all the time. It's fussiness not anything medical we found out, so she cries loudly for no reason. I find myself running on empty trying to take care of her. I literally rub on like an hour of sleep most days, while my boyfriend gets almost 8 hours of sleep everyday and complains and gets mad when I ask him to watch her so that I can get some sleep to. I try to tell him I just need help. I'm working through post partum depression, plus the lack of sleep and food because if I leave her for a certain period of time she starts screaming. I cry everyday now, and just feel washed up and hopeless. All he wants to do is smoke cigars and play his stupid video games and gets gets mad when she interrupts him. For example, this morning she got fussy and started yelling like she normally does. I'd finally gotten to sleep in the back room so I could get some peace when he bring her back there and screaming puts her beside me, mad because he had to stop playing his stupid game and take care of her. So, already knowing where this is going. I get up, feet dragging with exhaustion to get her to stop. The whole time I'm trying to walk laps and sing and rock her to get her to settle down, he's seething because she messed up his game. After I finally get her to sleep and take her to the back with me, he comes back there and crawls in the bed, wakes her up, and instead of helping me get her back to sleep. He brings me her diaper, baby wipes, and bottle, then crawls back into bed and falls sound to sleep, loud snores and all. Leaving me to deal with our kid by myself once again. I'm in tears at this point because all I wanted was a few hours sleep, but he couldn't even watch her for more than 30 minutes. He says It's because he works and I don't, which I understand, honestly, but on his off days it would be nice if helped me, because like he tells me over and over when I try to explain to him what's going on with me, "You just have to get over it. She didn't ask to be here, so suck it up and get it done." On top of that, he expects me to keep a clean house, have his meals ready and work lunch prepared. Have sex when he wants and keep a smile on my face. Not to mention he's trying to rush me back into work. All of this and I haven't even fully recovered from my c-section yet. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel horrible because sometimes I have thoughts of simply running away from them both just to get some sleep and peace. Has anyone else had to deal with this or have any constructive advice on what to do?
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.