BFP thennn just like that BFN😭

I'm sooooo confused and so lost I start getting BFP at 9dpo but very faint then got a faint but clear BFP on frer at 11 dpo then a negative on a blood test at 12dpo and now I think AF is here I just wiped and seen blood as I got ready to test again 😭 I mean I'm a firm believer of what's meant to be will be but why the positives 😢 how could it be positive and then just like that negative uuugh! Me and SO was sooooo sure 😢 I just want to ball up in bed and cry 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭