Feeling so discouraged

I'm a labor and delivery nurse. My life is consumed by all things pregnancy and I feel like I'm drowning in it.

I have a 2 year old and hubby and I have been trying for 8 months.

Last month I have a BFP and a week later miscarried. I knew in my heart from day one I was going to lose it but I was still over the moon excited.

My best friend is now pregnant and due 5 days after I would have been.

I feel like my loss is nothing compared to those I deal with at work. I feel like I don't deserve to grieve because my journey is short compared to others.

Overall, I am just so angry. I'm angry that after 7 months my heart felt like it was ripped out when I lost my baby. I'm angry that I don't know what is going on or why I'm not pregnant.

I know I'm ovulating every month. I could just cry thinking about it.