I cheated & karma is hitting me... (Vent post)

Let me start by saying I already accepted what I've done & that it's my fault. I already know I deserve everything that's been happening to me... Okay I'm 19, my fiancé or shall I say ex fiancé is 20. We have been together for a total of 5 years & 9 months. About a week ago, I cheated. I don't know why I did it. I don't know why... But I did & there's nothing I can do to take it back. Fast forward, I couldn't tell him. Every time I wanted to, I wouldn't. The worst thing about me is I tend to run away from my problems, avoiding them as much as possible. Yesterday was probably the worst day of my life. The guy ended up letting it out before I could & things began to unfold. I've never seen my fiancé so hurt. The guy I cheated with was a family friend & so he told my s.o entire family, yes ENTIRE family... Coming home from a day of shopping & eating, I had a gut wrenching feeling. My phone rang & it was my sister in law (although we aren't fully married, I still call them in laws & we are currently renting at her house), she sounded serious which is weird bc her & I are always loud with each other-- we were best friend... She asked if we were on the way home, I told her yes & when we pulled up, all of my sister in laws that live in my state were there & were staring me down before I even got off the car. I walked in as normal & my s.o receives a text & he walked outside. When he came back in, I said "Hey is everything okay?" He replied, "You tell me... Is everything okay with you? What about you & _____?" & my heart dropped. Fast forward there was no arguing, but his family somehow contacted my family & now my family is angry with me. I don't blame them, but even though I'm not the victim my heart still feels shattered. I still have feelings. I feel like someone stomped on my chest repeatedly. I went back to my parents & regretted it immediately. I have 0 support from anyone, not that I deserve it. I'm now in a hotel by myself, slowly losing my mind. This really fucked me up, I can't imagine how my s.o feels. I can't get myself together enough to even speak to him although he has reached out... I'm just broken. It's a feeling that's hard to explain, broken. Alone. Tired. These thoughts will be the death of me. I just need someone to at least act like they're here for me... I don't know what I'm going to do with myself.

***UPDATE***

So, I finally had the courage to call him & we are currently trying our very best to piece us back together. I'm back home. We're starting to actually work on things (We used to just brush everything off.) & listen to each other more. We talk out our issues like adults & I feel like it's doing our relationship veryyy well. We vented to each other & it is so obvious we love each other. I made a huge mistake & I would never do it again. Never will I take the love this man has for me for granted again. I'm a very lucky woman. As for my family, we have also worked things out & everything is swell. 💞 I'm still bummed, but I can say things look very promising. Thank you all for your wise words. 🤙