Judgement

This is more for the females (or anyone that dates men for that matter), just kind of some thing to think about.

So, being new to the casual dating scene (or at least new to calling it that) I have to deal with my mother telling me what's wrong with the person or people I want to date.

The problem I'm having now is the oh too familiar case of Black Man Doesn't Know How to Properly be a Gentleman or Man in General Because of a Lack of a Father and a Lack of a Strong Relationship with His Mother. Yea.

I feel bad because my mom judges him for not knowing he should stand up and shake a man's hand when he meets him, not knowing his way around St. Louis area even though he's been here his whole life, not knowing how to clean his new earring holes properly, not knowing how to dress or shop for himself, just not knowing a lot of things.

Things I have to teach him. Hell. every now and then I have to push him to the outside of the sidewalk cause he'll forget. But...

The question is can you really blame him for not knowing? It's not his fault, and so don't mind teaching him these things. He treats me well; the best he knows how.

My mother on the other hand thinks he's just a lost cause and that I shouldn't have to teach a grown man these things, and though it's not his fault, I need to focus on getting myself together... Really I don't see why I can't do both.

First of all, while in the long run your parents might be right, don't let them dictate your dating life. It's never their decision unless it's tradition because it's no longer the 1800s or before then.

Anyway, the question is...should you judge a man who doesn't know better? Or should you try to help him do better? Because no one is perfect.

Btw im 19 he's 20