How to sober yourself

Yes, I somehow have the ability to type while...very drunk

I have had 3 shots of crown and oh my god. I cannot even.

I hate it, I guess I'm a light weight.

And it's not fun for me. It just feels like I'm being held down by something heavy.

What do you do to sober up? I am drinking water and juice. I cannot even taste it.

I really do not want to be this drunk. I am annoyed that 3 shots has me like..yeah. No. I want this to end. Right now.