Well I think I'm justified but everyone else thinks I'm an antisocial bitch who hates my family but I don't like when family touches me. Hugs kisses even talking too long just makes me uneasy and uncomfortable. Even family reunions to me are just a day wasted that I could have spent doing something productive.But I like when my close friends do those things. Now I have no problem with like my close family that I live with while I don't nessasarily like when they show affection I ca live with it once in a while (except New Years I hateeee when my dad hugs me right before the ball drops I just wanna get away from everyone on New Years) but if it were my friends id love it and I rather be lonely and depressed when my friends don't talk to me than to go to be with my family. Today my grandma is making the whole family drive two hours to meet my older cousins (he's like at least 60 something) father who's in his 90s. I don't want to meet him I could care less I rather stay home and smoke a bowl alone but they are making me go and I'd rather kill myself than go.(that's a real threat i actually mean that) then go.

Is there something really wrong with that idk why I feel that way I just do

(Ps: I do suffer from very bad depression but I don't know how that would have anything to do with it)