I have an issue with snooping on my husband's phone. It feels more like habit than necessity and an issue I'm working through with counseling. He knows I've looked in the past, has never gotten defensive about it, and has told me I'm welcome to look anytime because he isn't hiding anything. So, all sounds great, and in all honesty, anything I've found is mild, but I want your thoughts because something is bothering me.

So I noticed my husband has searched for his ex on Instagram under his "recent" searches. When I asked him, he wasn't defensive, and said he didn't know why it was there and must've been a historically saved search. Well, it's not, because I get how Instagram works and her name has since been overridden by other searches. I didn't make a big deal of it because he was probably simply curious, but I feel like he lied to avoid conflict. I also noticed that he looks up pages of random girls or female friends that he has, and that seems odd to me. It makes me uncomfortable. But, not a huge deal.

He also recently made a comment to me that he hasn't masturbated since we've been together (about a year and a half). But the other day, he told me he whacked off in the shower. Then when I looked in his phone this morning, I saw porn in his web browser and prior day's history was cleared. Porn doesn't bother me and neither does masturbating. I'm on my period so it makes sense and doesn't offend me. But the lying does. Why tell me you've not masturbated when it's fine that you do? He knows I watch porn and am fine with him doing it so it's weird to hide it.

I guess I feel like even though it seems like there's nothing material to be upset over, the fact that he deletes stuff bothers me. I noticed early in our relationship that he deletes text messages and I wonder if the reason he's so comfortable with me being on his phone is because he just deletes everything.

Really wanting some perspective on this. I want to talk to him more openly about it but he struggles talking about feelings and it has caused some big fights so I'm trying to figure out myself before bringing it up. Thanks in advance for your thoughts.