How naive was I?! Advice please?

Could I ask for some advice?

This TTC Business is not what I had stupidly pegged it out to be. I got pregnant with my daughter at 24 quite by accident. Fast forward 11 years and I’m now 36 and trying for baby no.2 with my fiancé (no.1 for him). I was so excited and I naively believed it would happen quickly and that I’d really enjoy the process of actively trying rather than suddenly discovering I was pregnant. But instead it’s one of the most heart wrenching, roller-coaster experiences of my life. In the 7 month’s we’ve been trying I’ve had a very early miscarriage that ended at 6 weeks and every other month has been a BFN. I know it’s extremely early days and I hope this post isn’t insensitive to those who have been trying for a significantly longer time. Although I can’t imagine what it’s like to try for years I do have some insight as my sister tried for four before having twins through IVF and it was heartbreaking to watch her go through that.

I’m not sure I can handle much more of the highs of the hope, followed by the sense of doom when AF seems likely, and then the bone-crushing disappointment when another month ends up feeling like a failure.

How do those who’ve been trying for a long time handle it? How can I keep myself sane?! I’m worried it’ll damage my relationship as I’m so emotional for half the month! Any advice hugely welcome. Thank you xxx