Giving up. Now what?

I'm giving up ebf (well exclusively giving him breast milk) my son. I can't do it anymore. Of course I want the best for for him and that means him having my milk, but it's beyond me now. I've tried for 10 weeks. He doesn't feed properly, I don't have time or mental capability to pump exclusively anymore. I know this makes me a selfish woman, and it breaks my heart that I can't do this for him. But it's costing me my mental health, my relationship with my partner, causing resentment towards my son. I want to try for as long as I can to feed him once or twice a day, which is all I can manage. Is this possible? how do I fight off engorgement. I go 7-10 hours overnight with no feeding or pumping and wake in agony. Please no judgement, just advice.