i need advice??

Question

ugh I don't wanna post this on here but I need advicee so I just wanna know how to get over the fear of giving a blowjob?? it sounds stupid af but like I want to, but I'm really scared to do it and when I actually have the opportunity to I can't do it. I was molested when I was 3 and it involved oral sex so I guess that's why I'm scared about giving one now. so I just need advice on how to get over it?? I don't want guys getting bored with me cause I can't suck dick :'') sorry for asking

Answer

I've been with my guy for 6 years and married for 1 and I've never done it. It's never a requirement in a relationship.

Answer

Only do what you’re comfortable with, that’s all there is to it. You are totally in charge.

Answer

I agree don't do anything you don't wanna do & don't do it if you feel pressured. I didn't feel comfortable with it until my husband to be honest. For me it was about being respected enough, & trusting my partner. A good guy will be understanding & patient whether you do or don't wanna do it & any guy that doesn't understand not wanting to do it isn't worth your time!

Answer

Don't force yourself to do anything. You are not required to perform any sexual act on anyone. You do what's comfortable for you. You don't do these things because, "it's cool, he wants me to, all my friends do it, everyone at school does it, I feel like I should". You do it because you feel comfortable enough to do it. I'm praying you are able to find your strength.

Answer

Oh, and one more thing. Guys shouldn't get bored with you because you eont suck them. If you don't want to, you don't have to. Their horny asses can get over it or they can leave, and they can be nice about leaving if they choose. You deserve respect.

Answer

I agree that you should only do it if you’re comfortable. They should respect you enough to be ok with it if you don’t want to, and if not, to hell with them anyways. 
However, I know you’re not just looking for support to tell you why you don’t have to, you’re looking for advice on how to get over your fear because you DO want to, but can’t. 
I can’t say for sure as I have never had this problem. I guess I would say try to attempt it in a situation where you feel VERY safe and in control. If it seems weird and gross, try the shower or right after the shower. If it’s a control thing, try tying him up or something else that would allow you full control. Or just make sure that you are in a place and mindset where you are least anxious. YOUR space. Idk. That would be my advice.

Answer

Try taking it slow. You don't have to give him a full on bj right away. Just play around with it a bit. Do it for a bit and if you get to uncomfortable then stop and tell him that. Real men will understand and not think it a big deal. But I understand the pain. That has happened to me before to... Don't worry tho I love giving head now!!

Answer

I'm very sorry for what happened to you and I can relate. 
When I was with my ex he would always ask me to give him a blowjob but it never felt/sat right with me so I never did. Flash forward to when he  broke up with me at a party and left me there by myself where I was then drugged and raped by multiple guys (including forced oral sex). 
I went to therapy and am still not quite over everything (which will probably never happen completely) and am with someone who I love and loves me more than I've ever been loved before. When we first started talking about dating I had told him everything just so he knew what he was getting into and that I would want to go incredibly slow on physical stuff, which he was totally okay with. 
About a month and a half into our relationship we had our first kiss which escalated from there and after a few weeks we were getting intimate and doing things like blowjobs/oral.
My best advice is 
1. Obviously don't do it if you don't feel comfortable with it
2. I personally would only feel comfortable doing it with someone who I loved and knew wasn't going to hurt me and would be okay with me stopping at any time if I felt uncomfortable. I have TMJ so my jaw gets sore super easy and my boyfriend knows and understands this. He's always super understanding if I need to stop or take a break. 
3. Idk what your situation is but if you're with multiple people that you might not know/trust completely, this might be contributing to your fear? 
I don't know because I'm not a psychologist or anything but that's my experience with it. Hope this helps a little bit!

i need advice??

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