So from the title, it seems a little harsh like she's family and everything but she's an awful person.

She has, since the beginning been such hell to me. She's a year older than me so everyone knows her before me. They all know her, the girl who's perfect and good at everything, and popular, then they meet me. I'm a weird hipster basket case who isn't as smart, popular, or athletic. Often times I'm sad and I can't bring myself up. It's called depression. My sister and everyone else thinks I'm the victim and that I do it for attention.

Well she always pushes my buttons. And I know I'm not mentally stable. I have social anxiety and I always feel like I have to be normal and as good as my sister. I'm so afraid of her judgement that it's held me back from doing anything. I can't tell my mother anything, cause my sister will find out. We live in a small town, and if something goes around my sister finds out. I really like this guy but she would judge me so bad if I went out with him. That's the tip of the iceberg.

Today she told me she wishes she could ignore my existence.

And I need a therapist or something, but I'm too afraid to tell my mother cause my sister will find out and make fun of me. It'll go around school that I'm the crazy girl.

EDIT: I did not ask for anyone to criticize who I am as a person, because that doesn't feel good at all. I posted this cause I wanted support. I did get some, but I also got a lot of comments that made me feel bad about myself, which was the opposite of what I wanted. I understand that if you want to say your opinion I can't stop you but keep in mind there's still a person behind this.