1 Upvote
Comment
Just by him saying no doesn't mean he wants your kids.. My husband isn't going to donate sperm no matter how hard up for money we are.. Ain't no one else having his kids! We would work ourselves to death if we had to. I can relate to your man not wanting your babies out in the world. If you're stressed about money, get a second job, get a third job.. quit the job that's not making you money.
Stressed the fuck out. I dont want kids
Im not sure if i should take this concern back to our couples therapist, but my fiance and i agreed we didnt want kids. I was stern on it. There is possibly in the far future we would have one but i am more than happy not to. I just dont like kids. He even said in counseling and i quote “at this point not having kids isnt a deal breaker, im fine without them” so i was like great this will work out i dont have to worry about eventually having a kid to keep him happy or end the relationship. Im 21 and he is 25. We are tight for money, late on rent by 2 days and winter sucks for his business and its only right around the corner. I jokingly suggested we sell some of my eggs for $8k and he pretty adamantly shot that idea down. I was laughing and said well we don’t have to sell them all but that’d be a lot of money, and he’s shaking his head no. Lol so i feel like that confirmed he’s not ready to let go of the idea of having kids. I JUST DONT WANT THEM. Why would he waste my time if he’s still holding onto the idea of having them?! This is so frustrating.
Why not help people that cant have kids? I don’t want them but that doesn’t mean other people cant have them, id be happy to donate. And i could use that money for the wedding and the down payment on the house. 😒
**** also i want to add I’m not “quick to pay for the wedding”, we’ve been engaged over two years. Been together four and a half.
Im taking this to the counselor because i dont want him wasting my time if he still thinks he wants kids. Ill be furious if 4.5 years has been for nothing. I think some of you ladies are right and i need to have a serious discussion with him about this with the counselor, its not fair to assume hes okay with how we are and then later on find he wants kids for sure. And yeah, really it is my body i should be allowed to sell my eggs, i never thought however maybe he doesnt want other people having my kids, thats an interesting point of view. Im going to ask him tonight what his real issue is.
301
views • 1
upvote • 9
comments
COMMENT (9)
I would just talk to him about this and ask him if that meant that he was holding onto the idea of having kids with you. Unfortunately for both of you, it is extremely awful idea to marry someone hoping they will change their mind about something like that. That’s kind of the vibe I’m getting is that he was holding out hope. It’s a shitty situation because you shouldn’t have to have kids if you don’t want them, that will just cause resentment and your relationship. But it could be causing him some resentment also And he should certainly get what he wants out of life. I think ultimately, if he is holding out hope, then the best thing to do would be to end it. Like I said, if you have a kid and you don’t even want one, you’re setting yourself and your marriage up for failure. I also think that if he married you thinking you change your mind, then he’s the one who really set the relationship up for failure. So, just talk to him about it and hopefully you will be on the same page about it but he needs to be straight up with you about what he wants out of life.
Sa
THISSS, good advice👍🏻
You are still young! I am a completely different person than I was ten years ago at 21. I think it is great you do not want kids! Couples are having multiples and it is overpopulating/ruining our environment. Try not to stress out and make it clear that this is your body, you are not changing your mind anytime soon. If you love each other it will work out!
it sounds to me like he wants kids in the future. you are both still young. if you are absolutely sure you don't want kids then why see you dragging him along in a relationship? I would say this is defiantly something you need to talk to your couseler about. children are big part of life and if you aren't on the same page it will most likely end your relationship if you aren't willing to compromise.
Ni
She also said there was a possibility in the future that she may want to have a baby. So it sounds to me like she is giving mixed ideas of what she wants. She need to be 100% honest if she doesn't want kids. And not say maybe in the future.
Km
It’s more like he’s dragging himself along in the relationship, she was upfront and told him she doesn’t want kids. He said it’s fine. It’s more his responsibility to leave the relationship if it’s an issue. She can only go by what he tells her.
Well I’d put a hold on that wedding you’re quick to pay for. If you can’t decide on something as serious as whether or not you’ll have children, that’s not a good sign. I don’t think that’s something you should just settle on if it’s important to you. If someone wants kids, then being with someone who doesn’t want kids at all isn’t going to work out. But.. I don’t think him not wanting you to donate your eggs indicated that he wants kids. I would definitely bring that up in counseling. At the end of the day, it’s your body. But they don’t let just anyone donate eggs.
Let's Glow!
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.
