Y'all I am pissed. 😡 22, almost 23 years I have saved myself for the special moment to finally unlock the box. I didn't mean to lose it tonight but the days leading up to my period I get super horny and this guy I'm seeing is ugh...so sexy.

Anyway we haven't even been seeing each other long which makes it worse for me because idk I'm sentimental. It was only a few seconds, hurt a bit but wasn't too bad cause I broke my hymen a while ago. I guess he felt the blood so he pulled away. I was so embarrassed but he was super sweet about it. He took me to the shower, washed me, kissed me on my head while I buried my face in his chest cause I was so embarrassed.

He still wanted me to stay the night, but I felt weird about everything. I was deep in my feelings 1 cause I lost my virginity and 2 cause i started my period. So like my emotions were so high lol. I wept a tear. I was slick about it tho and he didn't see lol. He just held me, trying to get me to talk to him because I wouldn't open up. When I told him I wanted to go home he begged me to stay. It was the sweetest/saddest thing. He asked if I was gonna stop speaking to him and I didn't say anything because I was deep in my feelings lol and upset with myself and with nature and life and law school, I digress.

As I was calling the Uber he said "please don't leave me" in the most pained voice. I felt like a real asshole and responded "goodnight" before walking out. Now I'm confused and pissed and cramping and deflowered and it's literally the worst thing 😅 This is god's judgement on me for having sex. I'm sure if it.