I didn’t get to hold my baby when she was born..

Sorry ladies this is gonna be pretty long but bare with me...

My daughter is now 10 months old, I never really wrote down my birth story but for the most part I thought I had a pretty easy going labor for my first time. She was an overdue baby. Honestly, they changed my due date SO MANY TIMES back and forth that I have no idea what my actual due date was as they changed it again at the hospital the day I delivered. Nobody knew. Anyways, I was admitted to the hospital at around 11 am because I was having very irregular contractions since 2:30 am. I timed them ever since they started and they were every 4 minutes for a while then every 8 minutes then every 2 minutes. It was just Wild!! All over the place. I called to see if they would want to see me since my delivery hospital was about an hour away. They said to come in. So my husband and I picked up my parents and drove over there. They put me on the lowest amount of pitocin since I was only 1 centimeter I believe? Then after an hour of that I was checked again and was 2 cm. The nurse said they couldn’t raise up the pitocin because they didn’t know how my baby would react because her heart rate was going a bit above normal the entire time I believe. Idk honestly I didn’t even know what was going on but every time the nurse would come check she would tell me nope it’s still a little higher than usual. Turns out I would just not dialate. I opened up to 3 cm and was stuck on 3 for hours. Until finally the nurse told me she was gonna call in the dr to see what he would wanna do. This dr I have never seen before comes in, introduces himself and explains he is going to rupture my water to speed up the process. So far I was doing everything naturally, no medication, ya girl was IN PAIN AND STARVING and scared but after my water was broken HELLLLLL NO. Those contractions were immediately 10 times worse. After about an hour of what appeared to be death in every second I closed my eyes I decided This girl was not strong enough to do this naturally so sure enough I asked for an epidural. Let me tell you, don’t let anyone make you feel any less for asking for that epidural the second you walk into that room cuz man I wish I had asked for it sooner! Epidurals are the real MVP. Epidurals are life. Props to the women who have done it naturally because ya girl saw her life flash before her eyes with every contraction. Somewhere along this time they came in to tell me now her heart rate was dropping a little lower than normal with the contractions but none of it was made a big deal they were just little things she would come in and tell me then leave again. I was worried but able to remain somewhat calm enough and couldn’t feel a thing that I was FINALLY able to get some rest and nap for a while. I was exhausted. When suddenly I was awoken by contractions again. They were as mild as the “period cramp like” contractions that I was feeling when I just started. I kept pushing my button and I was panicking I’m like nooo it stopped working!! And then I remembered the nurse told me it couldn’t run out so I called her in for help. I told her I could feel the contractions again very lightly but for some reason my button was no longer working. I was so embarrassed but I told her I seriously was about to poop myself. She laughed and asked when the last time they had checked me was and once she heard me say that she said it was time to take a look. She said “YUP SHES COMING SHE HAS SO MUCH HAIR!” I was so excited happy scared anxious nervous everything all at once. I knew our lives were about to change. My mother was in the room with us as well, I am the baby of 10 children. She had never seen any of my 6 sisters give birth before but she was there for my delivery. I felt so special and spoiled! I asked my husband “does she have dark hair?!” He said “yup!!!” Anyways, I think I completely had no sense of time anymore because what felt like a couple pushes could’ve easily been 30 minutes or an hour. I would push and she would come out then slide right back in, turns out she was sideways so her little ear would cause her to slide back in. I was told he was going to make a small incision to get her out. (It wasn’t bad at all even after the birth.) Once I was finally able to push her out the second she was born for the first time ever I heard the most beautiful healthy cry... and after this the most confusing moment of my life happened. To this day I have no idea why this was done this way, if this was normal, if they were keeping something from me, if I’m exaggerating or what. She was born and they took her away, I didn’t get to see her or hold her when she was born. My husband said he watched the dr sow me back up after she was born and they took her. They took her away to clean her up in a hospital bassinet that was maybe about 8 feet away from my bed. I. Didn’t. Get. To. Hold. My. Babygirl. as soon as she was born. A nurse came to tell me “they will bring her to you right now sweetie”. Those couple minutes felt like FOREVER. When they finally brought her, she wasn’t all the way cleaned up but my goodness she was the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes on. I don’t know why I didn’t say anything, why I didn’t ask but now it just bothers me and hurts me that I didn’t get to hold her as soon as she was born. I’m wondering if this is normal? Did this happen to anybody else? Why could this be?? Am I exaggerating? I’m so jealous of every mother that got to hold their baby when they were born. 😢 I’m definitely blessed and beyond grateful to even hold my baby at all of course and very thankful for all the drs and nurses hard work but it’s a just something that gets to me...