My boyfriends mad and disapointed because I won't let him finger me?

So my boyfriends upset because I don't want him finger me. I just feel awkward thinking about it and I don't want to do it, he says he's disjointed in me and that makes me feel worse then him being mad ......should I let him? Am I the horrible one for not letting him? What do I do...

Am I the bad one?