Incase someone needs to hear this. Please read it.

Three years ago I got into a relationship with a man. I thought he had everything I needed. He had a good job, a house, spoiled me and my son and treated me like a queen.

Three years ago is when i was abused for the first time.

As weeks and months went on, I found out he had cheated, he apologized, bought me expensive things, even cried to me he’d never do it again. And I forgave him. For months he told me how it was my fault he cheated. That I gained too much weight (I was on birth control that made me gain weight). There were days that if we got into a fight and i didn’t feel like talked he would grab my jaw and scream “you will speak when spoken to” and if that didn’t work, that’s when he’d start throwing things at my face to hurt me until i talked. I would go for a drive to clear my head, and he would tell me “if you aren’t back in twenty minutes your stuff will be outside”. I tried to leave once, asked if i could get my things. He grabbed my two year old and wouldn’t let him go saying i had to leave with what was on my back and i wasn’t allowed to take my son. I had no place to go. Everything was in his name. I started taking diet pills, and starving myself, hoping that if i lost weight the cheating would stop and he’d treat me better.. it never got better. I eventually shaved my head because i felt like that was the only part of my body i had control of. He told me he did t want to be seen with me because i had no hair, so i started super gluing wigs... yes super glue, to my head so he didn’t have to see me bald. When we went out, i wasn’t allowed to speak when spoken to or there was hell to pay when we got home. He owned everything. My phone, my car, everything was switched to his name when we started dating because he told me “itd be easier that way” when really he just wanted control of everything. He would tell me countless times to shut my son in his room so he didn’t have to look at him when he got off work. My son was two at the time, disabled. And he said to me “i can’t stand that retarded fucking kid. I have no patience for him”.

A year ago i got my life back. I waited for him to leave for work that morning, packed one of his cars, and drove 8 hours back home to my family. It wasn’t easy. I had a panic attack trying to leave the house, like a demon was trying to pull me back in. I cried the full 8 hour drive home. I had to have someone on the phone with me while i walked out of the house so i wouldn’t go back inside. The abuse continues, he’d call me while he was driving drunk, he’d call me before going out with. Girls, just to mess with my head. And it worked. I almost killed myself multiple times over him. But i kept going for my son.

It’s been a year since i left him. I am now with the perfect man for me and we are starting a life together. Who’s never forced me. He even let me cry on his shoulder about my ex without judging me. We are now expecting a baby girl in ten weeks. And I’ve never been so happy.

My weight was never the problem

My hair wasn’t a problem

It was him.

If you are struggling with being someone who is like this i urge you to leave, and know your worth. And if you ever need to talk or need advice. Please comment and i will be here to listen. You are not ALONE.