A year ago, I was still grieving. A year ago i felt like my world was so empty and incomplete. A year ago, i let myself fall apart in so many ways and became a careless idiot. When I finally realized how in love with your father I was, my whole world changed. We were blessed with you right away. I was so excited and terrified when i saw those two lines. Excited because i knew already how amazing you were going to be. But so scared because i didn’t know if i was ever going to meet you. I counted the hours until i got to see you for the first time, & when they stuck that long probe scary thing in my vagina, i was so terrified to look because i didn’t want to experience another heartbreak. But i looked, i saw your heart racing at 171 BPM while you were looking like a cute little chicken nugget. I felt a love that i had never felt before. My whole body was shaking and i was so nervous knowing that now, my whole life is for you. Every breath i take, every decision i make, every little thing i do is effecting you & i have done a wonderful job at trying to be a good example for you. I remember being absolutely terrified of something going wrong, i would spot after sex & cry thinking i was going to lose you, i had unbearable cramping making me think that i was going to deliver you before you had a chance. While we had some ups and downs this pregnancy, I️ have learned to love every single stretch mark and pound I️ have gained because I️ know, I️ earned these. I️ know that these are proof I️ got to experience the wonderful journey of pregnancy & I️ am so thankful to be your momma! Anyway, fast forward to now, 37 weeks and 5 days. I have less than 3 weeks until i get to meet you. I can’t even express how much light you have given me already. You are seriously my motivation, you are EVERYTHING & i don’t think you will ever comprehend the love i have for you until you experience this yourself. I’m pissed off that you will have to experience heartbreak, fake friends, stupid stress. But i promise you to always be here to listen, wipe your tears & remind you how beautiful of a human being you are. I never want you to be with someone who doesn’t deserve you. I hope you fall in love with someone who loves you as much as your daddy does & as much as he loves me. I know this world has a lot of bad things going on, but you are proof that wonderful things still exist. I know what you are capable of, and i promise you i will be here to support you through everything, even when you don’t want me to be. I love you, i cannot wait to meet you & give you my all. You are so special.