i’ve never been diagnosed by my doctor because i’ve always been to scared to talk to her about it but i’ve had had self diagnosed anxiety, panic attacks and depressive episodes for 5 or 6 years since i️ was in 6th grade and it keeps building and getting worse each year. i’ve tried to talk to my mom about it but she’s the type of person who thinks it’s all made up in your head and that these problems aren’t actually real which has made me too scared to talk to my doctor because my mom would be mad at me for telling her and she doesn’t like me taking medications if i️ don’t have to. when i was younger i️ would cut myself but at least have stopped doing that but my anxiety attacks have gotten so much worse. i️ don’t know what to do anymore because i’ve completely fallen apart this year and have been having panic attacks and mental breakdowns almost every night and i’m constantly crying and have no motivation to do anything so my grades are terrible and i’ve withdrawn from all my friends. i️ can’t make it through a day without hysterically crying at least once. my parents still somehow don’t see that and think i️ just am not putting effort into anything and want to fuck up my life on purpose. i barely eat anymore which i️ know is terrible because i️ run xc and track and want to be recruited but i’m going to mess up my body. im lucky if i️ get 5 hours of sleep a night because i️ can never fall asleep and wake up throughout the night crying and hallucinating and can’t fall asleep because i’m so paranoid in the dark and worry about everything. i️ can’t do this anymore and need help because i️ have no one to talk to but i️ don’t know what to do. if i️ do talk to my doctor about it what should i️ tell her/what will she do about it?