So I’m going to be 10 dpo tomorrow. For the first time in months I bought a pregnancy test. Been trying 18 months now and I lost hope a while ago, but I’m still trying. This month I’m allowing myself to have hope again. I did everything I could possibly do besides fertility medication to get pregnant this month. I can’t handle the wait and I’m going crazy so I’m going to test tomorrow. I’m going to test and if it is negative I’m going to force a smile on my face and say next month. If it is positive I’m going to lose my bloody mind and scream hallelujah from the rooftops. Wish me luck ladies! (DR. said he’d put me on Clomid in January, I’d rather not go through all that, but at least there is hope if it is negative this month.)

Well, today I tested. I was shaking and praying for the full 3 minutes. I was so scared to look. I finally mustered the courage and looked. Big fat negative! I cried for a good 10 minutes. Thought what the hell is wrong with my body. Then I cleaned my face, forced a smile and went on with my day. Making an appointment for end of November to get my referral to see a specialist (Tricare makes you jump through so many hoops). Hope fertility drugs do the trick. Thanks for the wishes of good luck. Maybe next month....