So I’ve been friends with this girl for 5 years.. let me tell you, this girl has been around.

Every relationship she’s been in, she gets abused. The cops gets involved, guy gets arrested, and she goes back to him. For as long as I’ve known her, she claims that the person she is with is her “soulmate”. When I call her out on it and asks if she wants to smell up a coffin, she claims she’s just using them for sex until another guy comes along. She does not have her life together... every time she is in a relationship, she moves in with the guy, gets a job for a month or less, than let’s the guy do the providing. I call her out on this too! She’s so dependent on someone taking care of her and has no independence. She doesn’t even own a car to drive herself anywhere, she relies on everyone else to pick her up and drop her off, she’ll offer to put $5 - $10 in gas with money that’s probably not even hers.🙄.

When she would crash at my place, she would constantly try (dress down in booty shorts and wear a skin tight tank that shows her bra) to catch MY man’s and any other guy’s present attention. If my then boyfriend would be at work, she would always ask where he’s at, when he’ll be home, and ask about our relationship. She nearly hooked up with my then boyfriend’s best friend but I threatened him, told him he might catch something, so he listened.

I have been in and out of this girl’s life these last 5 years, hoping she would change and get her life straight. Every time, she would claim that she’s changed for the better but it always looks like the same old same to me. She ended up moving up north for a year and then moved back.

A little over a year ago, when she moved back she found out she was pregnant and was staying with her mother, who was very hostile and violent. So my ex and I offered for her to stay with us for a little bit until she gets back on her feet to be on her own. She brought her dog with her and didn’t even pay a dime of rent for 6 months during her pregnancy. I pretty much took care of her, cooked and cleaned, and even took her to her pregnancy classes and appointments. During that time I found out she has been sleeping around (mind you, she is PREGNANT) and even invited multiple guys over to my place.

My ex and I were not having it, so we talked to her, and she just ended up going over to the guys’ (multiple guys) place and staying there for days at a time, sometimes even a week or two. She pretty much would come home if she had a appointment that she wanted me to be the one to take her to.

And we were the ones taking care of her poorly cared for and undertrained dog. I have a dog as well, I thought they would get along and be friendly but my dog wanted nothing to do with hers, he would smell her and walk away going back to his bed. It’s interesting, when she was gone, her dog was always so full of life, very obedient, and actually tried playing with my dog. But when she was around, she just locked her dog in the bedroom with her and her dog was so quiet, always shaking, and scared..

Anyway, just like my last boyfriend, whenever my ex would be at work, she would always ask me “where’s (my ex’s name)?” “when is he coming home?” “how’s the relationship?” and I even caught her eyeballing him like crazy as if she was using x-ray vision but I acted like I didn’t see anything. Just to be playful I would ask what she thinks of my then boyfriend, to see if she would give the stamp of approval, and obvious she did and would always ask how I find these good looking guys and say I’m lucky.

No matter, they would end up either cheating on me (NOT with her though LOL) or things just didn’t work out.

She used to tell me stories of her baby daddy that infuriated me... so when he called her once and I ended up taking her phone screaming at him and threatening him (because he was also abusive to her as well). So when time came for her delivery, she was staying at a guy’s house (he was not the baby daddy either) then was dropped off at her mother’s and then went to the hospital. She said she wanted me there when she was due, when I contacted her, she said not to come because the guy (one of the guys she has been sleeping with) was there and that I don’t have to be there... like wth? you’ve only know this guy a few months and you trust him to be there for you... oh yeah, fun fact , she made me the godmother of her son.

I found out that her ex, the one she thought was the baby daddy, ended up NOT being the baby daddy, and he was an unsolved mystery up until about two months ago saying that she got pregnant from a guy that was a one night stand. But when I asked her many times before, she claimed she didn’t cheat on the guy.. Shortly after having her baby... I kicked her out of my place (yeah, messed up especially since she made me her son’s godmother) and told her to stay with her mother and that she’s too much drama. She begged to stay at my place because all her and her mother do is fight but I just couldn’t. I literally felt like she was just using me, and everyone that knows about the situation says so too. She was never home — only when she need to get to her appointments or when the guys’ were busy and not going to be home. I should have kept her dog but she was insistent on keeping and taking care of her (her dog now stays at her brother’s place, and he wants nothing to do with his sister).

A year has passed and once again, I let her back in my life after her constant apologies and contacting me through other friends. She’s still with the guy she was sleeping with when she was pregnant, who was at the hospital when she had her son... but wait! Oh yeah, he abuses her too... He even pushed her off a balcony once and she was rushed to the hospital. She’s fine now though. She claims they’re soulmates too. Apparently she left him but she still posts up photos of them via social media. When I brought it up, she says she done with him and that she’s just using him for sex..

She claims that I’m her best friend and like a sister to her because I’m “real” and always look out for her. We reunited once since I’ve let her back into my life and hung out with one of my old coworkers. That same day, or night, her “ex” boyfriend was staying back at his parents place for a couple days and she wasn’t welcome there due to sending their son to jail for domestic violence, so my coworker offered for her to stay at his place, and as we sat on the couch, she said she’ll sleep here (hence, on the couch).

I found out about a week later from my coworker that they hooked up. He said he felt bad that he was letting her sleep on the couch, so he offered for her to sleep on his bed and he’ll sleep on the couch. He said, she said she felt bad and that they’re adults and they can just share the bed. BUT! She also told him that she sleeps naked........

He knew instantly that she wanted to hookup. So, being a guy, he obviously went for it and instantly regretted it 🤣😂🤣 After the hookup they got to conversation and he brought up my name multiple times and she kept saying “me and her are so similar”; “I used to be just a petite as her before I had my son”; “do you think I’m pretty?” etc. In the back of his head, he knows me better and even confessed to having a crush on me to her, which caused her to be more snappy and jealous to him.

She’s been anxiously wanting to hangout but I’ve been making up excuses to not being able to go out. It’s not that I don’t like her... I don’t like the decisions she makes and the situations she puts herself in. Her “ex” boyfriend is still around and trying to be friendly with me after he called me on her phone once (after a week when I let her back in my life) and started yelling at me and calling me names for no reason (Oh! Fun fact, he’s cheated on her too, multiple times). My boyfriend already wants to fight him for 1) hitting a woman and 2) yelling at me and calling me rude names.

I honestly don’t know what to think anymore.. like I want to be there for her as a friend but as the same time I don’t want to be part of all this crookedness and drama. I always try to see the good in people and hope for the best but I already have a lot on my plate. I’m already mean to her as it is, like I said, it’s not like I don’t like her — I don’t like the choices she makes or the situations she puts herself in. And it seems like she tries to be me and she’s always trying to one up me and fails miserably. She even claims my best guy friend is also her best friend when he doesn’t even talk to her or know anything about her.. he was very taken aback and reacted very awkwardly. She can’t even pronounce his name correctly... 🤦🏻‍♀️ She already has a cool personality, that’s what brought me in and why I thought she was cool in the first place. My boyfriend doesn’t want to meet her but she anxiously wants to meet him and since she’s seen pictures and she’s even asked if he has a brother and asked me if I think he’s hot.. 🙄 Like wtf... calm yourself down.

Should I just cut her out of my life or should I just stay friends with her and continue being mean to her hoping for the best for her...? My boyfriend says to just stay friends with her but keep it at a minimum.