I'm having a hard time with mothers day.

My husband and I have been trying to have a child for a few years and we've had a few miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy where I almost died. I may be being dramatic, but I'm having a hard time with mothers day and not having my children here. I have so many mixed emotions like hurt and anger and then I breakdown because I see all of these shitty little gifts and I'm like "I should be getting those terrible little memories that I get to love and hang on to forever" not oh yeah, my baby just died a few weeks ago and my other children were stillborn but try my pasta salad. And we stopped trying for now but it's so frustrating to see and know some really shitty people who have kids that they refuse to take care of when I have P.C.O.S and can't get pregnant.